A mere concoction

Picture courtesy: Salon.com
Picture courtesy: Salon.com

I’m suddenly in a mood to dissect this thing that makes the world go round. I know everyone who has ever fallen in love, would resonate with my thoughts about this indescribable feeling. Not infatuation but more than that, can I call it true love? Maybe.

Do you believe in the idea of pure love? That feeling of pure bliss where every flaw slips into perfection(?). Some of you might nod in agreement, some of you won’t. I cater to the former category.

For a man who can passionately fall for someone, I think they would have more things to talk about..oh, her hair, her smile, her skin, her bones (think Kings of Leon’s songs). Most of these love songs penned by male singers are moving, passionate. Or so I found them. Well, women are subtle, the milder creatures they say. I don’t think so. Except that they have fewer things to talk about, their men that is. Notice this; men tend to get more hedonistic than women. We aren’t as sexual as they are. Yes, they can blame it on the law of evolution. Like, come on, we are sexual creatures. There’s no denying that. After all, we need people to run the world. They are right.

I don’t know if you’ve dwelled upon this. But men seem to desire certain parts of women’s body that seeks to procreate. We are naturally designed for procreation. Yes, we are supposedly the higher beings and there’s more to this idea of evolution that results directly from sex. Perhaps, it’s therefore a big taboo and a topic we should hush about. Why? Because it’s a powerful medium of evolution. At least, it is sanctimonious for few people. You know what I mean.

True love is very subjective. Interestingly, a scientist friend of mine (in his early 50s), claimed that he can categorize this “love” into three phases: innocent love (6-15 year old), infatuation (above 16), and exalted love (no margins). So, he said, we all crave for the exalted love where there’s complete union of two souls, where each partner understand one another and respect their shortcomings, and still love, everyday. Now, that’s rare. Hence, we all roll from one relationship to another in search of that comfort. We could find true love early in our lives, but most often, it’s like digging for gold. If you’ve found it, you are fortunate.

We confuse lust for love, infatuation for love. Part of this confusion stems from being unrealistic. Can I say unrealistic, or, idealistic? If it’s a short term, good luck with that. But if you ought to have a long term, sustaining a relationship is a hardship, because it’s a delicate plant that needs to be looked after by constant flow of love, respect, loyalty, commitment and lots of love. More than physical attraction, there has to be a mental connection. That, I think brings us closer to feeling true love, the so-called  divine love.

In short, true love is ambiguous.

4 thoughts on “A mere concoction

  1. Meeting of two hearts rather than bodies as the general perception of true love, most people have concensus. Now, your discussion on why sex is socially considered a taboo interested me. I pondered over this question in the past. Why sex, an act that everybody desires (undeniably), turns out to be hidden, ashamed of and hushed about whereas (randomly say) yawning, jumping, etc. which don’t please us as much are not so? This is really a tough question. The only liable reason I could think of is the human attempt to separate themselves from beasts, civilization from wildness. Men (or women) display their animal behaviors to the fullest while doing sex. For them to claim civility, any bestiality has to be hidden. So the most embassasing thing for a man is the animal side of him is known to others. Men doing wild sex is still metaphorized as beasts and those frequently indulged in sex are still compared to mules or horses. Likewise, letting others see genitals being a matter of shame is also because of this very reason, I think. Otherwise, why wouldn’t it be shown in the public and cover up the face instead? haha… Therefore, this initial human attempt to classify themselves as civilized “humans”, different from the category of “animals”, has slowly become a social tradition and passed down. Otherwise, it would’ve been a kosher now 🙂

    1. You are right. But I was also inclining towards the fragility of this idea of having sex. See, most of the marriages break down because of physical infidelity. Why do we regard this as a big deal? Because it is directly related to reproduction. In a way, our system is cleverly engineered for evolution. Hence, biologically, I think men have more sex hormones than women. And interestingly, if you go at the micro level of explaining this smart design, only one out of thousand sperms wins an egg

      1. Of course, assigning greater importance to sex than emotions, bare sex without romance is wrong morally, spiritually and sometimes even legally. Harmonous union of two souls leads to the union of two bodies and thereafter to an offspring. So, sex is a reward in the form of physical pleasure bestowed for the harmony of souls, but infidel people exploit this secred blessing and take the short-cut to sex by avoiding the pre-requisite extra mile of linking the souls. Thus, the bare bodily relations are destined to breakdown anyhow.

  2. from my perceptions dealing with my own experiences , i would use a word feel rather think that pure love exit when someone falls unconditionally.I encounter with a word love when I was 15, it reflect me only a sense of like rather love. times swift as a drifting fall, we gradually grow up biologically,we crave for sex and appearances. when a word love came to our mind we take it as a sex only.but when we get mature i feel love i blind. every flaws seems like immaculate. it was miralcle xperiences.
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